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THE REAL SOURCE OF HARM

“Keep in mind that it isn’t the one who has it in for you and takes a swipe that harms you, but rather the harm comes from your own belief about the abuse. So when someone arouses your anger know that it’s really your own opinion fuelling it. Instead, make it your first response not to be carried away by such impressions, for with time and distance self-mastery is more easily achieved.”

- EPICTETUS, ENCHIRIDION

Summary:

Epictetus teaches that harm does not come from others’ actions or words but from our interpretation of them. It is not the insult itself that causes us pain, but our decision to take offence. When someone provokes anger in us, it is not their actions that truly disturb us, but our own perception and emotional response. The key to maintaining inner peace is recognising that we have control over how we interpret and react to external events.

Interpretation:

In real life, this means that we should not allow others’ words or actions to dictate our emotions. For example, if someone insults you, you can either choose to be offended and upset, or you can view their words as meaningless and remain unaffected. The more we practice distancing ourselves from emotional reactions, the easier it becomes to maintain self-mastery. By controlling our perspective rather than trying to control others, we free ourselves from unnecessary suffering and cultivate resilience in the face of adversity.

 

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